With monumental force I cracked open the huge boulder and made my way through it. I had been riding on the chariot of the gushing waters aimed to deter by no one in my way. The only thing that was carved in the very purpose of my existence was to reach the Destination. No one ever guided me to reach there nor what this place held. Yet I’m positive that I’ll realize it when I’m there. Yes! I know nothing of the Destination. Didn’t know why I was always this frenetic. Didn’t know why I keep on working hard and give blind eye to the dawn and the dusk, as for me both were the same. The only thing mattered to me was making my way through all the objects in my path and reach the Destination.
I could easily be crowned as the fool of fools who knew nothing of the reason why I was in rush. I have been the object of mockery for the beings around me as they believe I never eat, nor recline, and don’t ‘live’ life. Some better day I would object to this but not always. The truth is I have had no aim in life but to reach the Destination. From the facade I appear to be strong, confident, deterred by no living force; that’s the sole reason why I have made it this far. But I do have self-doubts when I would easily fall prey to low morale.
Something must have gone wrong with me at the time of my genesis. I truly believe that just flowing and making way through gorges, falls, twists-n-turns of forests, cities cannot be the only purpose of my existence. I should have been here for something big. I must be completing the big picture of the Creator. I’m not mere an ornament to decorate this world; nor am I here to help others; nor I’m here for only living for my self. I believe that my strong urge to reach the Destination has something to do with realizing the reason of being alive. There must be something or someone waiting for me at the destination which is not allowing me to contain this juggernaut.
Today however I raise finger at my creator. How certain can I be that the worth of reaching the end would justify the things I have had to let go while traversing the distance? With wavering force and making sounds that would pass chill to the very spine of every living being I have been flowing since many years. I met beings during my entire course. Some became friends, some foes, and some accompanied me without falling into either sides. They were there with me for the passing phase of my travel but not forever. I don’t blame them. They tried to follow my trail but unaware of where I might lead them they chose to say their goodbyes. They had their own course to follow and different Destination.
I don’t remember when I embarked upon this journey but I do remember her. The one who caught me by surprise when I actually wanted to stop. Take a break. Contain my frenzy of moving ahead. I didn’t notice when she had started following my trail. I couldn’t see her but was able to see the signs that she was with me. She had lined the banks from where I flowed by trees and vegetation of so varied kinds that would sooth eyes of a vexed mind and be tonic for soul with troubles. We weaved beautiful memories together. She would display her shyness by making the trees dance to the tune of my song that I played while jumping from mountains, and thrashing the banks around corners. Flapping their wings and rising from their nests her Messengers would drop her gifts for me. The birds would also dance to the joy of being in love, being alive. I wanted to kiss her feet, her navel, her eyes, her lips. However these will always remain as a figment of my imagination.
I shared my miseries, happiness, joy, troubles and my desires with her. But from start I knew we were not destined to be together. We’ll have to separate. Of course this separation is not permanent. We again will meet. As I said, fulfilling destiny is the only thing that matters to us all. One may agree or disagree but in the end it is what we have to do. Right now flowing towards my Destination all I can see is vast expanse of ocean wherein I’ll merge like many other child of the rivers merging into the ocean. This is my Destiny. My Destination. But is this all?
Aiming for something is always a nice thing but trust me after reaching my aim of life, the ocean, I feel incomplete. Maybe the feeling has not yet sunk in that I’ve finally made it. I have crossed all obstacles, mountains, lands, enemies and reached the Destination. I’m at peace but there is still a hollowness inside me. I’ll be lying to myself if I say that I do not have regrets in my life. I do have! Not many but considerable. How beautiful it would have been if I rested for sometime! If I analogize with humans acts it would be just like taking a sip with bunch of friends, indulge in joy and revelry, enjoy the moment, not just passing life but ‘living’ it.
Life lived once cannot be relived again except in memories. And I’ll always cherish the beautiful memories of the sail. I now realize the message that I was expecting to receive when I reach my Destination. I was wrong. The message was not here. It was with me all along. I had been carrying it since my origin but never realized. I do now. The joy and happiness of journey is more beautiful than the Destination itself.